YES WE HAVE NO MANA
by VanG Ziggy ZA
Summary: FFI The heros need mana before taking on the vampire sucking the life out of the land, and healing the earth crystal. Now if only they could find a store keeper who was not insane!


YES WE HAVE NO MANA, WE HAVE NO MANA TODAY.

By

Vanguard Ziggy

Author's notes: This is my first Final Fantasy One story. While I admit there is not much a story in the game, it is still fun none the less. I wanted to try and write at least one story based on the game. Hope that you enjoy it. Please note, that this is purely comedic story, so no drama here.

Adam walked through the town of Melmond, glaring at the dead earth, the corrupted fields of wheat. All around him were signs of death and despair. Even the skies seemed gray and lined with an ancient sense of sadness.

Adam looked down at the orange diamond handing from around his neck and frowned. It seemed to glow bright as he walked around the town. He knew its alter lay somewhere around the town, perhaps somewhere around the outside area. It was then the fighter realized that his was the crystal of earth. As he and his companions continued walking the dried up town, they heard of the stories of a deadly vampire that was sucking the life out of the land, and was located somewhere inside the earth cave, which was deep south the town, past the poison swamps.

He looked for his companions, his bother James, who was a monk preferred to work on his meditation and martial arts. Then there was his sister-in-law, Hyne his brother's wife, who served as their healer and practiced white magic. She was new at her game, but still she made a fine white mage. The fourth member of their group, the other two considered kind of an outsider. Kira was beautiful, young, bold, and serious. She was also one of the few black mages who were female. While he considered her an outsider, James liked teasing his brother about his growing interest in the young woman.

Adam shook off his feelings and sighed, there was no time for such things as love, not when the world was in danger. Kira was cute, but for now she was much more useful as an ally than as a love interest. He looked around and caught sight of them near an old building with both the white and black symbols of magic. He sighed, if the rumors were true, the vampire was going to be tough, and they'd need to bulk up on magic. Perhaps even a stronger holy magic.

He walked over to James who was waving him over and nodded. "Found anything?"

"We've confirmed what most people of the town have said, that there's a vampire that's sucking the earth dry." He looked down and blinked at the glowing orange crystal on his brother's belt. "What's up with that thing?"

"From what I've gathered, it's the earth crystal, and the vampire must be blocking the alter where it belongs." Adam looked up at the crystal and frowned. Dragon's Tooth Magiks Shoppe. His frown grew wider and he looked at his brother. "Who found this dump?"

"I did," Kira snapped. From behind her dark blue cloak and dark yellow hat he could see her light blue eyes glow in the shadows. "You have a problem with is, sword boy?"

Adam sighed and rolled his eyes. "All right, I still think we should have gone to a more reliable store, like that one over there," he pointed to another Mana store, far to the south of this one, "but let's see what this one has."

They entered the store and Adam immediately knew he was going to regret it. Usually there was either a black mage or a white mage standing behind the counter, but here, there was a short man with greased back black hair. He wore a purple coat and a small golden medallion. He looked up and smiled. All most too willingly for Adam's taste, it made his flesh crawl.

"Welcome friends," he yelled, throwing his arms in the air. "Welcome to the best damn store in all of Melmond." He nodded and began pulling out his wares for them to see. "The name's Sid just opened up here not that long ago."

"This is a magic shop, yes?" Adam said, walking up to the counter. He had no time to mess around. He knew that they needed the magic, and needed time to train, in using it, to grow stronger before taking on the vampire.

Sid looked up and looked blankly at Adam. For a moment it seemed as though he were agitated by the question, but then he smiled and nodded his head towards the door. "That's what it says on the door, ain't it?"

"We need protectorate spells, as well as anything holy in nature," Hyne said, walking up to her brother in law. She smiled at the merchant her brown eyes and blonde hair both shining. Unlike Kira, Hyne wore a white hood, revealing her lovely peaceful face.

"We also need some black magic, fire spells, if you have any," Kira said, her voice cold and steely.

Sid frowned as he looked at the two women and blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"They said that we need some spells," Adam said. "Do you have any such spells or not?"

Sid frowned some more and bent over a counter. He seemed to be there for a long time until he stood back up, holding a strange looking staff; "We have a nice staff here, supposed to be given the powers of the flames. I can let you have it for say, one thousand silver pieces."

"One thousand silver pieces?" Adam wailed, "What the hell, no one uses silver anymore, we use gil. And we didn't ask for a magical weapon, we asked for spells."

"All right, then," Sid sighed. "I'll let you have it for have it for two hundred silver pieces."

James frowned and stepped forward, "We want spells, Mana scrolls; not magical items." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "We don't even carry silver, as my brother said, we only have gil."

Sid bit his lips and stroked a whiskered chin. "Well, we do have some other things," he said under his breath. He quickly turned and stared at his bookshelf. Finally he smiled and pulled down a cat doll. It was black, with a red tuff of hair on the top of its head. Around its neck it wore a red bow tie and its stomach was snow white. Sid smiled and nodded approvingly.

Adam blinked for a second, feeling his jaw drop to the ground. "What the holy fuck is that monstrosity?" he growled under his breath.

"A Cait Sith doll," Sid answered, blinking at his customer. "It brings strong doses of bad luck to those who hold it. I can let you have it for fifty gold coins."

"Why the hell would we," Adam began, his emotions starting to get the better of him. "We don't even have any damn," he closed his eyes and swore the worst words he could under his breath.

James pounded his fist on the counter, making Sid drop the doll. "We don't want any staffs, we don't want dolls that put hexes on us, and we don't carry either gold or silver. We want Mana scrolls, now let us have some. We are willing to pay a large amount of _gil_ for any Mana scrolls you might possess. Just let us have the damn scrolls."

Sid swallowed slowly and looked at the angry monk. "I could let you have the eye of a newt for twenty gold pieces," he said under his breath.

"Do I _look_ like a witch," Kira roared, stomping a foot. "I'm a damn black mage." She pointed to Hyne and narrowed her eyes. "She's a white mage, neither of us have any use for eyes of frickin' newts." She gritted her teeth and pulled closer to the merchant, "We want Mana scrolls. Mana scrolls, M-A-N-A. Now just let us see them."

Sid frowned further still and then smiled, "Oh, I understand now," he winked and went into the back of his store. When he returned he was carrying a great number of magazines, each with a somewhat indecently dressed young women on the covers. "These are the only ones we have left, you're quite lucky."

Adam began pounding his head into the counter, nearly knocking himself out. "We don't want porn magazines, we want Mana scrolls," he roared.

Sid once again frowned, "But there are a great number of articles in the magazines dealing with Mana scrolls."

"We don't want to read about them, we want to use them," James screamed at the top of his lungs.

Sid frowned and removed the magazines from the counter. "I'm sorry sir, but you must be a practicing mage to use Mana."

The party felt their eyes widen and their jaws drop. "Are you insane," Adam roared. "We have two mages standing right here."

"I'm afraid that dressing up like a mage, doesn't make you one, sir."

"I'm not a damn mage, I'm a fighter, can't you tell the difference between a fighter's uniform and a mage's uniform?" Adam roared.

"And you want what of me sir?" Sid narrowed his eyes and frowned.

Adam had heard enough, he turned and began walking for the door. He stopped as Sid leapt over the counter and grabbed his shoulder. "Welcome sir, is there anything the matter?"

Adam felt his jaw drop for the umpteenth time in ten minutes. _Welcome?_ "Did you're mother drop you on your head by any chance?"

Sid frowned and took a step back. "I'm sorry? My mother died twenty years ago."

James groaned and slapped his face with his palm. _Probably from embarrassment. _"Look, will you please show us your Mana scrolls now?"

Sid turned on his heels and scowled, "I'm sorry sir, but I'm with another customer at the moment. Besides, you're a monk, not a mage. You can't use Mana scrolls that well."

Hyne sighed and stepped up to the merchant. _Nothing wrong with trying one last time._ "Could we please see your Mana scrolls?"

Sid turned to face her and smiled. "I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid I can't," he said pleasantly.

"But why not?" she asked.

"We don't sell Mana scrolls, just magical items," he said, just as pleasantly.

All around him was a collective groan of exhaustion. Sid looked at the small group of heroes and smiled, his face confused and a little excited about have customers. For some reason people walked in and always walked right back out. Perhaps it was because of what was happening to the town of Melmond.

"You could have said that before you idgit," James groaned. He looked at his companions and they nodded. "Thank you, but we're not in the market for magical items." They turned and left through the door, each one swearing as they past through its arches.

"Thank you, and come again," Sid said, smiling brightly. As the door closed he frowned and scratched his head. Now why had there been such a draft just a moment ago?

FIN

Author's notes; Okay, this was fun. A bit short, but I enjoyed writing it. I really liked having two female heroes. To my knowledge mine is the first Final Fantasy 1 story that has a female black mage. If I'm wrong, please e-mail me and let me know. I also enjoyed writing in Sid. After all, 1 was the only game that a Sid/Cid was not in the game story, so I figured what the hell. As to the question, is he retarded, dropped on his mother's head, or have a short term memory? Hell no, just as James put it, Sid's just an idget. Just to show you how stupid he is, while his momma did drop him on his head, a number of times, she has yet to expire. He found a headstone with the words here lies Big Momma, and thought it was his momma. Adam is based on myself more or less, as James is based on my real brother, and Hyne based on his wife. Kira is based on Raven from Teen Titans, and no I don't have a crush on her, I just liked her attitude and thought it would make a good 'tude for a black mage to have. Thanks for reading.


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